Let's Blame Car!

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 I must have been a witch

In a previous life

Always being blamed

For everyone's troubles and strife

If your hens stopped laying eggs
If you were sick from too much cake
It must be Car's fault they'd cry
Let's burn her at the stake

Rainy days and hail storms
She'd be the cause of it all
And I bet she could conjure up
A forty foot snowfall

Death, disease and destruction
She was probably behind it all
It was she who started the Black Death
Even though she wasn't born

Who began the fire of London
Who killed the Russian Tsar
Who went and sunk the Titanic
It was probably Car!

So if you are sick with lurgy
Or you've broken your big toe
Don't wallow in self pity
Give blaming Car a go.

If your computer catches a virus
If the cat shits in your shoe
If you got sacked from your job
Now you know what to do

If you've been out and got pissed
And don't know where you are
Don't struggle for explanations
Just blame it all on Car!

If you've drunk too much brandy
When you weren't supposed to
And thrown a mega tantrum
You too know what to do

If you don't win the lottery
Or there's no beer at the bar
Just stand up tall and shout it out
It must be that bloody Car!

Global warming, shrinking ice caps
The disappearing bees
Floods, fires and earthquakes
Car's to blame for all of these

And one day when the world ends
When the sun glows as a bright red star
They'll raise their hands to heaven and cry
I bet that's that bloody Car!



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